Opening the door
When facing a problem that is anxiety provoking, the scariest part is simply opening the door to face it and accept it. Knowing that it’s time to finally accept reality and pay the piper can be overwhelming. I empathize with anyone who is facing this situation and would encourage you to use some simple tools to help you.
This is where many of my male clients use avoidance and distractions to simply block out the problem.
The simple solution
The most common suggestion I make with students is to use a combination of a white board and a calendar for regular organization and maintenance. The student puts in tests, quizzes, homework or other projects into the calendar for the day they’re due and then uses a reminder for that “appointment”. This must be repeated and accepted in order to see success. If you don’t use it, it won’t work.
The white board has some flexibility for how the student decides to use it. I like the white board in particular for those trying to avoid due to how hard they are to hide. If you have a 3 foot x 3 foot white board sitting on a students desk or even better, hanging up on their wall, it will be highly visible and difficult to avoid.
The white board can be a to-do list for the week, it can be simply big picture goals, detailed reminders, even encouraging ideas. The student can use it how they see fit, but they must use it. If the white board has nothing new on it, then it’s not being used.
The last recommendation I make is for the student to have a dedicated work time at home for a particular time. I often recommend 45 to 90 minutes after school in a public setting (kitchen table, dining room, Starbucks, library, etc). This is the time to actually do the work and get it done or figure out what’s next.
And that’s (basically) all there is to it! It’s so simple.
I am shocked at how successful the combination of these tools have been for my clients. I have seen it fully transform students who were previously drowning in work and depression to being able to feel freedom and peace.
This minor amount of planning and structure is easy enough to implement for students and allows for their brains to not be worried about what they might have forgotten while also not avoiding work either.
Do you have questions about implementing this plan? Please feel free to reach out!